So ashamed of applying.

Hi all,

I'm a relatively new member here and I'm posting today because I don't really know what to do.

I have multiple health issues; lupus, sticky blood, erythromelalgia, epilepsy, hypermobility the list goes on and on. They each cause their own little complications, ranging from joint pain and exhaustion to tendonitis, dislocations and blood clots et cetera et cetera. I have never ever applied for DLA or PIP. I work, go to university and externally appear like the picture of health. However I require a high level of assistance most days and am very lucky to have family who are willing to step in and help so I can live my life. On other days it's all I can do to just put on foot in front of the other.

My question I guess is this; friends and family have been trying to convince me to apply for PIP for ages and while I see their reasoning I am so so embarrassed at the thought of applying. Every time I think of applying I picture the GP receptionists picking up the DWP notification and thinking "scrounger" or the PIP medical and how it will go and I just...freeze. Has anyone else had that thought process/experience? The embarrassment as an emotion during/before the process? What did you do to deal with it?

Thanks for reading!

Zoe

Hi Zoe

I felt exactly the same as you. I still feel embarrassed every time I go to th GP surgery to collect my prescriptions from their pharmacy when the ladies ask why I don't pay for my medication. I hated the thought of being looked upon as a scrounger, I was horrified when I had to attend assessments for both ESA and PIP. I honestly felt like I was being judged. It's a bit like when you see a policeman and you suddenly feel like you're breaking the law!

For both benefits, I had to go to Tribunal. For ESA, I went to Tribunal to be put in the Support Group. I was in such a state on the day, I really didn't know how I was going to get through it. Luckily, I was called about an hour before, and was told by the lovely judge that I had no need to go to the hearing as I had won. He was so sympathetic and apologetic that I had been put through all the stress.

For PIP, I went to the hearing, and the three members couldn't have been nicer. I just explained how things are for me, and how yes, I am ashamed that my life has changed so much that I need to ask for help of any kind. They were very understanding.

I know it's easier said than done, but please try not to feel like this. If you need help, if you are entitled to the help on offer, then why shouldn't you claim it? Nobody can walk in your shoes and know what your illnesses cause, so they shouldn't be judgmental. Just hold your head high, and know that you are only asking for help because you really need it, and that you're not alone.

A xx

Zoe wrote: friends and family have been trying to convince me to apply for PIP for ages and while I see their reasoning I am so so embarrassed at the thought of applying. Every time I think of applying I picture the GP receptionists picking up the DWP notification and thinking "scrounger" or the PIP medical and how it will go and I just...freeze. Zoe

Zoe

I sympathise. When I first applied for for benefits I was claiming solely on the grounds of ME - also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I have had to get used to people looking at me and saying (as one TV repairman did say), "You look alright to me." - and in a tone of voice which implied that if he couldn't see anything wrong, then I didn't count as sick - let alone disabled.

But by the time I got to requesting DLA, I had spent much time getting together documentation from all sorts of places and my arguments written down. I needed to go needed to through most of the arguments in my head time and time again. That meant that when I was faced with some of those responses, I knew what to say. I had also - in the privacy of my own head - described how I went to the toilet or got help with getting dressed. I had also practised responses to receptionists and DWP interviewers.

All that helped me in that I was not stuck and unable to find words in the face of hostility. It also meant that once I had written down everything that I needed help with - and why - I thought, "Flipping heck [or a phrase a bit coarser than that] I do deserve this benefit." And when you have gone through the details of your life enough times, they lose some of their power to embarrass you.

When your stock phrases have lodged in your head, try them out in your bathroom or your car or somewhere private to hear yourself say them out loud. Make them sound like rational sentences and not like bleated apologies.

You might also care to remember that your embarrassment at asking for benefit or being judged "a scrounger" by others is not just a natural reaction. That sense has been manufactured, quite deliberately by those in charge of the DWP since before 2000 and the message has been ramped up by the current regime since they first came to power. You are being cynically manipulated, like most others getting money from the state in order to save the money on benefits and - ultimately - to destroy the welfare state.

Put together the best case you can - then have it written down. Read the B&W guides and revise your documents. That will get things clear in your head. Now remind yourself - you would not be ashamed to use the NHS. You are not ashamed to claim what a Draconian law says you are entitled to. Do not let them take it away from you with their heartless propaganda.

ZOE.

As the others have said, please don`t give in to the bullying and intimidation, you are ill and you need help. I have a friend with Lupus and I know from them just how much that can mess you up.

The guides on here are invaluable, my partner has just put in a claim for PIP and they really helped us fill the form in.

I really do wish you luck.

Frank

Dont have to be ashamed at all. Many are the same way. They will possibly look at HOW it affects your daily life. How you get around, if you can walk more than 50m ? or if you need help with looking after your daily life needs.
You really need a mobility test using this sites great tools and answer their questions on how it all affects you.

People CAN have many medical problems and still function reasonably well. They can walk ok and feed/clothe themselves without any problems. This is what PIP is trying to assess you on and give you points for.(if your disability affects you that is, in a physical or mental way) My next door neighbour is 89 and is really bad at walking, he has medical hip problems but as he can walk more than 50 m with an aid and cook and dress himself on a daily basis ,he gets no PIP. Mind you im not sure if hes entitled on a monetary basis?? not sure if there is a savings balance limitation.