Mindfield please help

Hi I'm sorry if this a bit long winded but I really dont know where else to go for help and advice.
My daughter has been approved for a home assessment for PIP due to fibromyaglia and depression and she doesn't leave the house but we are having difficulty as she has panic attacks and my son in law suffers with depression and anxiety. The thought of someone being in the house sets him off and he has been self harming again due to the situation, I have informed capita of this and they refused to come out to the home as the health professional may be at risk. I had a phone call from DWP just before christmas and they confirmed that would inform capita of the whole situation however we have now received another home assessment date for this week and my son in law is back to square one. During this time he has been approved for PIP with no medical assessment at all and has enhanced rate on both accounts.
I'm stuck I'm not sure what to do if I let them in he is highly likely to kick off and hurt himself and start throwing things.
The other problem I have is my daughter is 3 months pregnant to which we have only just found out I'm not sure if we need declare this and she's worried that will have a negative effect on her assessment, her health has deteriorated due to not being able to take medication for her health problems due the pregnancy. I am currently in the middle of appealing her being refused ESA on the grounds she didn't attend a medical back in 2011 even though she has been getting IB since 2005.

Any help or ideas would be greatly appreciated it is so hard to see them both in the emotional turmoil they are in, the whole assessment etc is just adding to there medical difficulties but capita cant seem to understand this. I can't gather evidence from medical professional as my daughter doesn't see anyone as cant leave the home to make any appointments and even has to have over the phone gp consultations.