LCFW and RA, Mental Health Condition

Hi there,
Just wondering what I should do, I am currently signed off work since September 2018 through having severe anxiety & severe depression.
I could not go to my LCFW medical as it was in a town that I didn’t know and my parents were too busy to come and take me. I rarely leave the house and if I do it’s to go to my corner shop when I’m running out of food. I have all my food delivered to my house and have Doctors appointments over the phone. I have no children and am 32 years old going through a divorce. The thought of moving house terrifies me and I have dogs and cats that are settled here, this is my home, I’ve lived here since 2014 but my rent is £575, I receive £524 per month from Universal Credit, I have taken out loans to keep from losing my house but am still in arrears by one month.
I couldn’t attend the medical assessment and now I feel like I’m being penalised even though I expressed on the LCFWA questionnaire that that was the case.
I have suicidal thoughts daily which is being made worse by the fact every month I’m signed on I am getting more and more into debt and it feels like they would rather I just wasn’t here anymore, I have hardly any food most months, I just feel so lost and cursed that I have a mental illness, I’m with NHS Insight for their talking therapies which is done via the phone, why are they trying to screw people with mental health conditions over. I’m just so so sad and honestly feel like o should just do everyone a favour and not be here.
I rang universal credit and they said it could be months again before I get a referral for LCFWA. Does that mean I need to take out more loans?