ESA form- too late??

After a lot of to-ing and fro-ing and letters etc., my appointment for an examination for my ESA was cancelled and I was sent an ESA50. This was May last year.
I didn't fill it in and a month passed, then another, then another...

I am bi-polar (not the sole reason I am not working) and I fell into a really bad depression over the summer. I was starting to shake it off by November then the mania started to appear and I got hallucinations, etc. (Hearing things is really scary).
With the help of more meds this passed and I felt ok for a couple of weeks....Then events took over, bad stuff in the family etc. so anyway, the form got forgotten/ignored as I just couldn't face it.

What would you do?
Fill it in now and send it off?
Wait till they chase me again? -I live in fear of the postman.

Meanwhile, the mental health service here in north Essex has had an overhaul. In short, I no longer get a half hour appointment 4 times a year. No one does. No scheduled appt's at all. You have to 'ring the emergency 24 hr helpline' if you have a 'crisis'. If you want to see someone you get your GP to refer you back again- which I have asked for this month. Haven't heard anything so far. Was told it can be 8 weeks to see someone.

You no longer see the consultant. You see one of the 'team', who could be qualified or not, or a counsellor rather than a psych-doc. I'm only sharing this bit as it means I have less 'evidence' to send. I no longer have a consultant I can get a letter from, because I was signed off, like everyone else, when the system changed. My GP is new and seems to barely know I have any history of anything. Bi-polar was news to him. I had to see a locum to get a referral.

In my experience, when you see a mental health 'team member' they haven't read your file at all. You start from page one each time, and never see the same person twice This all means there is no doc monitoring my condition or keeping any record of how I'm coping, or not.

Anyway- this is my situation and it's keeping me awake and has got me on even more meds than usual(!!)- I'm wondering if I should put the form to one side, but try to get some evidence of how the bi-polar, together with other things, affects my ability to work, while I'm waiting for the inevitable :o

What would you do?

Any opinions would be helpful x

Thanks x

Hi Gordon,
Firstly, sorry for the delay in replying, I've been in hospital again
Yes, I'm still receiving ESA. But a bit scared that if I ask Maximus whether I am still being reassessed it will 'remind' them of me. I guess it might be better if I know one way or the other but my stomach is turning 13 times to the dozen at the thought of pushing me back up to the top of the pile...

Acorn