Baffled. IB - ESA fail. Fresh claim - fail.

Hey Red

There’s a metaphorical hug here for you and I could drown you in empathy…………………I have tears of such trickling down my cheeks as I type.

Like yourself, bereavement circumstances lets say, have left me entirely alone and yep, as if the grief ain’t bad enough, at times you feel like who else is hiding round the corner to stick the knife in and or desert you!

I too had to involve Shelter………………..and yep, in between it all the DWP decided I didn’t already have enough on my plate, including, hanging on by clenched teeth, to literally find the will to carry on…………and then I stumbled upon Benefits and Work. It was this website and those wonderful people who man the phones for the emotionally distressed that got me through transition from IB to ESA. Then ESA50 to appeal. Then to Support Group.

Whilst it’s not the same, because your fellow members of B&A aren’t there in the room with you when, your mind won’t focus through stress, fear and sleep dep, you drop everything you touch, you have so many notes on so many bits of paper, you don’t know where to start…………….the list is endless.

Endless is also the love and empathy which I’m sure each of us members feel for all, when we read of the individual plights.

In other words Red, this site is the one place you are not alone and if any member or mod can give you one word of incentive and or help, it’s here for you.

As for those sad people that have deserted you, well Red, at the end of the day, they’re just not as strong as you…………..as I’m sure you will discover later and get the correct conclusion to your benefits.

Good luck.

petrocelli wrote:

Hey Red

There’s a metaphorical hug here for you and I could drown you in empathy…………………I have tears of such trickling down my cheeks as I type.

Like yourself, bereavement circumstances lets say, have left me entirely alone and yep, as if the grief ain’t bad enough, at times you feel like who else is hiding round the corner to stick the knife in and or desert you!

I too had to involve Shelter………………..and yep, in between it all the DWP decided I didn’t already have enough on my plate, including, hanging on by clenched teeth, to literally find the will to carry on…………and then I stumbled upon Benefits and Work. It was this website and those wonderful people who man the phones for the emotionally distressed that got me through transition from IB to ESA. Then ESA50 to appeal. Then to Support Group.

Whilst it’s not the same, because your fellow members of B&A aren’t there in the room with you when, your mind won’t focus through stress, fear and sleep dep, you drop everything you touch, you have so many notes on so many bits of paper, you don’t know where to start…………….the list is endless.

Endless is also the love and empathy which I’m sure each of us members feel for all, when we read of the individual plights.

In other words Red, this site is the one place you are not alone and if any member or mod can give you one word of incentive and or help, it’s here for you.

As for those sad people that have deserted you, well Red, at the end of the day, they’re just not as strong as you…………..as I’m sure you will discover later and get the correct conclusion to your benefits.

Good luck.

Hi Petrocelli (and I used to love that show! Did he ever finish building his house??)

Thank you for such a lovely reply and kind words. I am sensitive/empathetic too, it's a nice feeling to not feel so alone and most importantly, to feel understood. Thank you!

I can pretty much say 'snap' to what you're going through. Me too. And I am so sorry to hear that someone else is walking a mile in my shoes. I can't remember what I wrote in my previous posts, it has been such an intense time, my brain is mush. Right now, as things are starting to show signs of settling, I feel a bit stunned. I am still on 'high alert', but there are fewer dangerous/serious/pressing things to do every day, and I don't know what to do with myself!

I don't know how I can forgive and forget my family and close friends for abandoning me just when I needed them most. I have made every excuse under the sun for them, rationalised, been 'reasonable', but they have been out of order. Plain and simple.

I don't know how I am still here, to be honest, living and breathing. Someone up there is looking after me. I got through it one tiny baby step at a time, and sometimes, I didn't even try, I just gave up and let things take me where they would, and made my peace with wherever that may be. Any illusions I might have had about life being benign have been rudely stripped away. It's hard not to go down the road of anger and bitterness, and I hope I don't. Hoping to find acceptance and focus on nicer things.

There is no way I would be here today without the help of B&W, that's for sure!

I hope you read back what you wrote for me and apply it to yourself. They are very generous and loving words, you deserve them too.

Gordon wrote: Congratulations on the award, if you have a fixed term award of 18 months then I would not expect you to be invited to claim PIP until about 20 weeks (5 months) before your award ends, so you should have a year of peace and quiet.

Gordon

Hi Gordon,
Thank you so much! And I have got a year of peace and quiet?! I can't believe it! I will still keep an eye on my post, but you have given me hope.

Mrs Hurtyback wrote: That's great news Red, thanks for letting us know

Whilst DLA transfers are starting this month, the process is expected to last for 2 years. The cynics among us might suspect that it will take rather longer...

Hi Mrs Hurtyback,

Thank you

My 'transfer' from IB to ESA took 2 years, so my guess was at least double that for DLA to PIP. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at that. It's ridiculous. At least I have peace of mind for now.

Hey Red

So you were a P fan too huh……………………yep, all us claimants could do with a British version eh? Don’t know about the house though. Wasn’t there a film called RED (Retired and Extremely Dangerous)?

I do my best dear Red to just feel pity for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the meantime, I’m sure the one that’s perched on your shoulder will help you through………………..for it’s the one perched on mine that I have faith in.

My most heartfelt wishes

P.