Not Sure How I To Describe Things

Hello I have searched through the posts but cant seem to find answers. I have read through the pip guide.

Basically I have suffered bi polar dissorder for 17 years. I have been on medication constantly for 2O years. I havent worked for 10 years because I just couldn't cope anymore. I have been lucky that my husband understood and he really helped me a lot as one would expect. I havent needed any financial help from the state at all. About 18 months ago we went our separate ways due to events that would leave anyone incredibly traumatised in this day and age. I just cant handle this depression any longer and have decided I must try to claim financial help so that I can at least continue with the counselling and hopefully get myself really well again.

Looking at the forms I just dont know what I should say when it asks, can you cook, can you wash unaided etc. The truth is, I am about 80% dibilitated or more if that makes sense. I don't even get a good day anymore. I am constantly depressed so much that I cant do anything for myself. I don't cook, eat, wash or sometimes I can't get out of bed for several days at a time. My GP knows this is going on and I am waiting to be seen by CMHT. I am new to the area and apparently the GP said my medication will need reviewing.

What I don't understand is how to answer the questions. I had counselling yesterday and I explained to her how sometimes I can 'feel' the depression lifting. It might lift for an hour or two late at night, but then it might not lift at all. When I feel it lift, I quickly do whatever I can that I know I can do. But I can't predict how long or when or if I am going to be ok.

Now I don't have my husband to help me everything is collapsing around me.

Am I supposed to say yes, I can cook / prepare food but can rarely do so because?
The same thing for washing / bathing etc. My son can try to prompt me but nothing can make me get out of bed and look after myself. My son has been making me sandwiches when I feel I can eat.

I have had my form since beginning of August and had two extensions because I am too unwell to complete the forms. I was told to ring the CAB to see if they coud help me to complete the form but even if they could offer me an appointment, I cant guarantee I will get out of the house.

I am sorry for this post.

Thank you. I had read the pip claim guide and I've helped my nephew in the past but everything feels different.

I can see the diary is a really good help but my specific question is for example 10b)

Do you need help from another person to read or understand signs, symbols or words.

Yes, no, or sometimes?
My answer is 80% of the time or more, I cant read words because I just can't process anymore info. I am suffering so much anxiety that I cant even send a text message unless I create it in stages. I won't read a newspaper or even look at headlines because what I read will upset me. I dont even put the TV on because everything overwhelms me at the moment and I've been like this for months now on top of the normal depression that I've coped with for many years. When I hear the word Brexit I just go into knots.

Should I say Yes I need help - but I don't even want that help because I don't want to know anything because everything is just too much and my anxiety just gets worse?

I dont have a diagnoses. My GP knows whats happened and referred me to mental health team but I am to be assessed in October. Last year, in November 2017, I had been suffering/quiet traumatised since about June 2017 I was assessed by the NHS and told I needed counselling but there was none available on the NHS. I was already paying privately so continued privately. I guess this is the only evidence that I have other than the medications I take?

I was really improving, coping with the 'normal depression' but I suddenly started with really bad anxiety. The Counsellor said she believes it is PTSD. I can not look any man in the eye without questioning in my head if he really is who he says he is and if there is a motive. My husband was a police officer and the sight of a police car sets me off. I just get in a state and stay there for several days until the diazepam stops it.